The Smartest Thing You Ever Heard A Kid Say!

1. No name – I was drilling my 5-year-old son for his spelling contest. I told him to spell “axes”. He said, “I dont know if you want A-X-E-S or A-C-C-E-S-S.”
   
2. Kate – I told my daughter: “Mamaya pa tayo aalis, pinapalamig ko lang itong coffee ko.” She answered: “Bakit mo pa pinakulo, kung palalamigin mo lang pala?”
   
3. Joperman/Aya – My sister was explaining to her 3-year-old son that she spanked him because she loved him. After the talk, the kid slapped her and said: “I love you too.”
   
4. SC – I have a 7-year-0ld nephew who was watching Barney. After a while, he said: “There are no purple dinosaurs.”
   
5. Bulakeña – I’ve been a widow for 6 years. One time my kids asked: “Mommy, bakit di ka pa mag-asawa?” I answered: “Kasi mga bata pa kayo.” They countered: “Hindi naman kami ang maga-asawa eh…ikaw.”
   
6. SPY Shadow – My neighbor’s kid proudly brags to his playmates: “My 4-year-old sister can spell her name backwards: Anna.”
   
7. Jesse – My 5-year-old son David was very sick yesterday, so my wife said to him: “Sana ako na lang may sakit.” David said: “Hindi mama, dapat wala tayo sakit lahat.”
   
8. No name/His Cuteness – Nanay: “Anak, mahiya ka naman, linis ako ng linis tapos ikaw puro laro ka lang!” Anak: “Mas nakakahiya naman yata kung ako ang naglilinis at ikaw ang naglalaro…”
   
9. Lissadelvalle – My son and I just missed the closing of Bread Talk, so I said: “Sorry anak, wala nang bread.” He said to me: “Eh di mag-talk nalang tayo.”
   
10. Mac1 – I was talking on the phone with my wife. After, I noticed that our 5-year-old son was listening and said to me: “Sinong kausap mo, asawa mo?”
    
11. Time Traveler’s Wife – I saw a pasa on my 5-year-old niece’s leg, and I said: “What’s that?” She answered: “Oh…it’s a HEMATOMA.”
    
12. No name – A little girl asked: “Mommy, why do you have some white hair?” The mommy answered, “Each time you do something bad, a strand of white hair grows.” Then the little girl asked: “Then why is ALL of grandma’s hair white?”
13. Getitreal – I was asking my cousin if “commitment” was spelled with 1 or 2 T’s. A younger cousin butted in: “Gawin mo nang tatlo para sigurado!”
    
14. Aeon – I told my 6-year-old nephew that babies are made by the birds and the bees. He said: “Talaga? Akala ko sperm cell at egg cell?”
    
15. His Cuteness – My sister was telling her daughter: “Kainin mo na food mo, ang daming batang gustong kumain, pero walang makain!” Her daughter answered: “Eh di ibigay mo sa kanila yung ayaw kong kainin!”
    
16. Carlos’ Mom – We were visiting my late dad at the cemetery and I told my sons to ask for guidance from their Lolo because he was very wise. My 8-year-old said: “He’s not so smart. He ate too much sweets and now he’s dead.”
    
17. Dark Choco Boi – A friend’s student asked: “Bakit tinawag na orange yung prutas na orange?” My friend answered: “Kasi kulay orange.” The student countered: “Eh bakit ang apple hindi tinawag na red?”
    
18. No name – Sinita ng mama ko yung pinsan kong lalake dahil inaaway niya yung babae kong pinsan. Sabi ng mama ko: “Ang lalaki hindi dapat pumapatol sa babae.” Sabi ng pinsan ko: “Hello, ang pumapatol sa lalake, bakla!”
    
19. Geyp – Dad: “The only word in the English language that starts with ‘SU’ but is pronounced as ‘SH’ is ’sugar’.” Son: “Sure…”
    
20. No name – I told my niece: “Finish your food! Ang daming batang nagugutom!” She answered: “This is GLUTTONY…”
    
21. No name – My friend’s 3-year-old kid saw her parents getting dressed. She said: “Uuuy…si daddy…iki-kiss ang dede ni mommy!”
    
22. No name – My 4-year-old son, was taught never to fight with girls. So when he was being bullied by this little girl, he told her: “I have 2 word for you…BREATH MINTS.”
    
23. JoTad – Our Ilokano yaya was planning to put up her own canteen. When she asked for name suggestions, my eldest blurted out: “I know, PAGOODFOOD!”
    
24. Ang Manunusok – My 4-year-old cousin wanted to walk with us on the beach. I told him: “Magpaalam ka muna sa mommy mo.” He waved at his mom and said: “Mommy, paalam!”
    
25. Yñaki – When my brother asked his son what he wanted from Santa one Christmas his son shouted: “BMX BIKE AND LASER SWORD!!!” My bro told him: “Don’t shout, Santa’s not deaf.” His son answered: “I know, but Lolo is.”